I wasn't going to tell it like that

CM: I'm having a friend fix my garage door. It has a bend at the top. I'm afraid snakes or other critters might get in.

Note: he is afraid of EVERYTHING. He is seriously afraid of ice on the roads, tornados, small asian men (they might know karate) and swimming in 3 feet of water without a life guard (he might get a cramp - and then who would pull him out?) and now snakes that can scale an 8 foot garage door.

Me: How did you get the bend in the garage door?

CM: You know those shells you put on top of cars that hold luggage? My wife was screaming at me, so I got in the van and peeled out of the garage. I forgot we put the shell on the van - we had it loaded to take on vacation the next day. I backed up and it caught on the top of the open garage door and bent it.

Me: So you're telling me you loaded the shell on top of the van without realizing it wasn't going to clear the garage door?

CM: Well, yeah, but I wasn't going to tell it like that...